I have managed to get myself a job at a local music , DVD and accessories store through a family member of mine who has a friend who works there.
Thank god, i know! So i started off being really perky and i wanted to make friends and make an effort. This is proving harder than once thought.
I forgot the feeling you get when you first start at a new job; You know no-one, no-one is ever honest about anything, and you are so slow its not funny.
I mean i walk in there and i start being all chatty and really friendly and it was great for the first shift, then all of a sudden i get the vibe that i'm pissing people off by talking and that the warehouse bit at the back, where all you do is put stickers on stuff and bag things should be totally silent and i'm interrupting people's work.

I HATE being the new person. And to make it worse, these people are so so different to me. There is noone i click with, which makes working here even tougher. Maybe it is too early to tell, but i am not enjoying my time there. It sucks that i don't click with anyone, normally i always click with someone where i work but this time, everyone is so punky and so serious about their music and games or car stereos that i feel like a total outcast. Like seriously, maybe it is just because i am the new person (well, yeh it is!) but everyone is so snobby. What do i have to do to get a hello around here!?
Don't get me wrong, not everyone is all that bad. There was a lovely guy who was showing me some of the ropes today, and he is such a kind person with such a gentle spirit that i have taken a liking to him.
I think i am just that much more extra sensitive about it because it has been a struggle to get heard this whole year, through the journalism thing, and then when i get a casual retail job where it should be cruisy, i am experiencing the same thing.

I am tired and emotionally drained - not to mention they stuffd up my first pay so i don't have as much money as i thought i would have - typical.
I sound so negative. I am happy that i have this job and that i'm finally getting a pay packet again, maybe in the next few weeks or months it will look up once i get my bearings a bit more.
Are there other people out there struggling just as much as i am? Why must it be so hard to reach our dreams? Is this like an ultimate test kinda thing!?